Delusions of Grandeur: The YVA Interview

Fellow music lover and journalist Jake Anderson speaks to Amy, more commonly known as the enigmatic YVA, about her most recent EP, Delusions of Grandeur.

Original image by Katie Silvester

Back in September, songwriter and musician Amy Holford released her second EP under the moniker of YVA – Delusions of Grandeur.

The project is composed of three expansive and grandiose tracks that examine interpersonal topics through very gentle soundscapes that allow Holford to perfectly express the complex emotions at the core of these songs, being more intimate than its predecessor HYPE MACHINE.

The EP saw Welford collaborate with artist Khushi. The opening track Grandeur was approached in a very natural way, Holford told me, “There wasn't much back and forth with that song as we just looped the chords and I just kinda bled my heart out over it.

There was obviously chord changes that were introduced once I had my vocals in, and a verse was dropped in the process that I really didn't want to drop at the time… It was definitely the most cathartic and naturally derived song on the EP, and I think that was a combination of landing on the right sound right away and me very much needing to get this thing off my chest.”

As a listener, it’s the perfect EP to let the music sweep over you, and for the beautiful instrumentals and vocals to just seep into you. There’s a larger than life feeling throughout each song, it’s a sound that Holford always wanted her music to capture, but did not know how to go about bringing her vision to life till this EP, “I have always had a penchant for drama and loved soundtracks and the use of orchestral sounds in modern music.

“Massive Attack, Radiohead, Moses Sumney. I always knew I wanted my music to sound like that... I don't really speak in a technical musical language, it's more emotive for me, so I've really struggled trying to communicate what I wanted coherently, but also confidently. It's hard being a young woman in this industry trying to be taken seriously when you can't write your chords down.”

The semantics of healing and moving forward are at the forefront of Delusions of Grandeur, Holford told me that if the listener could take away a message it’s that, “despite life's challenges and cockups, nothing is permanent.”

“Don’t suffer for your art, don't suffer needlessly, because the world doesn't care either way. The only person that suffers is you, so don't let your worst demons define you. Keep pushing forward even when it feels like you haven't achieved anything, because at any given moment you could look back on your life and realise all the things you've achieved, all the small things that have kept you going, kept you alive. Those are the things to live for, not the big milestone moments. Collect those small special moments, like making a new friend, helping someone, getting your house clean, asking for help, having dinner with friends, going for a quiet walk...cherish those things as you move through life, and you'll end up with something that looks like hope.”

Before Holford could complete the project, a small hiatus was undertaken.

“I wanted to finish these songs before our baby arrived. There was a part of me that needed to release the words out into the world, to say goodbye to that period of my life where I questioned everything about myself, doubted every step, wondered if I was in the right place. I wanted to walk into this new phase of my life knowing enough about myself that I could care for this little life, and show her that sometimes you get it wrong, it takes time to figure out, but if you have love and hope, and you’re willing to really get your hands dirty, you’ll get there. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could do it all; be an artist, be a mother, and there didn’t need to be this constant struggle for my identity that I felt all the way through my twenties. Then I had her, and realised I couldn’t rush or organise that feeling, it had to come. And come it did.”

I asked Holford if much of the project had changed when her and producer John Hibbert returned to the EP, “we literally only changed the vocals, and then mixed again so everything fit. I definitely wanted things as close to the moment they were created, that's kind of my M.O, otherwise you might lose the imperfection that made the song important in the first place.”

Holford has confirmed that she is already working on her debut album as YVA. After the direction of Delusions of Grandeur in her sound, and the arrival of her daughter, her approach to crafting her music has changed, “I had zero creative ideas during my pregnancy until she was about 6-8 months old, when they started coming back slowly.”

“I have not pressured myself to move beyond my means, though, and taken it very slowly. It's taken 18 months to write this album and I love that. That time frame would have terrified me when I was 20, like, the success couldn't come fast enough and I couldn't work on a project that long, but really, it was a fear of getting it wrong that led to me never putting anything out anyway. Now, I just don't give a fuck. I'm not afraid of getting it wrong. I'm trusting the process more and learning to trust myself and my own boundaries; when's good to write, and when it's important to rest and recoup. I have zero delusions of grandeur (ha) now and it is incredibly levelling and humbling, and I think I'm a better artist for it. Juno, my daughter, is just my number one priority, and my music has to work with that, not against it. Having a child just levels you completely. Music is important but it's just nowhere near as important as she is, and that has given me great freedom.”